I’ve got a problem, and I think you might too.

I’ve been wrong.

At work. At home. In my head. To others. I’ve got tons of suggestions, and most of them miss.

If this was baseball, I’d like to think I’d still be putting up Hall of Fame numbers (getting a “hit” >3/10 times), but who knows.

I doubt it lol.

In Issue 8, I suggested a way to combat pocket watching:

Make your goals visible so you’re reminded of the enticing path you’re on and more easily numb to what others are doing.

Well….

The more I’ve tried to focus on just my path, the more it’s apparent I made an assumption when I shared that system.

I was assuming we’re operating out of a place of lack.

That even if we wanted to be content in what we’ve got, we couldn’t because we just didn’t have what we wanted yet.

A goal is something you’ve yet to obtain. So if the first thing I see every morning are my goals, I'm starting every day by staring at what's missing.

There’s a lot I already have and don’t need more of. I’ve noticed I’m having trouble seeing this while still wanting more.

Life moves so fast we hardly have enough time to stop and smell the roses. Society’s literally a system based on perpetual improvement. Everything’s focused on “more, more, more.”

How are we supposed to look at what we have and be content when better versions of everything and every lifestyle are all around us?

“I don’t have this or I don’t know that, but once I do I’ll be in a better spot and finally at peace.”

I think I’m too obsessed with upgrading…

I was wrong in Issue 8 because I didn’t realize solely focusing on the path ahead doesn’t leave room for appreciation of what’s existing.

If we have wants, how do we maintain satisfaction in what we already have without becoming completely complacent?

Cause I do want to drive a Porsche, but it shouldn’t make me resent my Avalon. After all, I’m still able to drive.

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”

-Henry David Thoreau

The overall goal is to be happy with what you have while still striving for more.

Could I be okay with falling short of a goal because I was already playing with “house money?”

I think achieving this comes from practicing self-security but also understanding what’s worth it. I’ve already focused on the former, so let’s dive in on the latter.

Part of figuring out what’s worth it is determining what you stand for.

It starts here because your values keep you going when it doesn’t make sense anymore.

Values are our most embedded wants.

Plus, they help define passions - what’s truly determining if something’s “worth it” to someone.

By defining your values and passions, what aligns and what doesn’t becomes clearer. You start to see what’s worth it and what isn’t.

Is a value of yours health? Then maybe that LifeTime membership is worth it but 5 concerts in one month isn’t :) On the flip side, is music a passion? Then maybe those concerts are worth it.

All I’m doing is reverse engineering a “want” to make it simpler.

Things that align with your passions and values are worth upgrading, things that aren’t, aren’t.

In a way, when you know what’s worth it, anything outside of those scopes are pleasantries. Sufficient in what they currently are.

Here’s an example:

I love the coffee mugs I have in my house because the art on them is fun and they’re durable. Yet, I’ve got zero passion for coffee mugs so I’ve never thought about upgrading them. Ads for coffee mugs don’t excite me. I’m content with the ones I’ve got and grateful for them.

On the flip side, I love music and I love going fast. I spend a ton of my time driving so an upgrade over my Avalon feels inevitable at some point. I’m much more susceptible to pocket watch my buddy who just got a new car than I am my friend who got a new coffee mug.

Sometimes there’s upgrades society says are really enticing but don’t align with me. I’ve noticed these add stress to my life for no reason. For instance, the latest iPhone or something.

I don’t have it, I want it, I feel pressure to get it. And deep down, for no reason beyond it looking cool. That’s stressful.

Without understanding what’s worth it, Issue 8 becomes impossible to do because there’s just so many upgrades being thrown at us each day.

Growth is constant. If it’s not clear what growth is worth it, we’ll continue to focus on what we are yet to have in all parts of life rather than the parts we truly want an upgrade in.

So I’ll end it with this:

It’s not about wanting less. I still want the Porsche. It's about trying to chase upgrades that are actually worth it, and letting everything else just be what it already is - pretty useful.

That's the house money part. If everything else is already enough, coming up short on the Porsche doesn't cost me much.

If you know what’s worth it to you, the world slows down a little.

What’s one thing you’d be happy having forever? No upgrade needed.

I hope you leave this five minutes a little lighter than when you started.

-Cal

P.S.

Did you use “Okay, but…” this week? Reply to this email. Let me know!

Also, happy birthday pops :) Thanks for blessing (and cursing) me with this level of introspection.