Standing On It
I’ve got a problem, and I think you might too.
I get embarrassed.
I get embarrassed because I’m scared people will judge me. That they’ll think my idea is garbage. Or even worse, believe I’d never make it work.
I’m not sure why I care so much what others think but that’s for a therapy session later down the road. Right now, lets highlight the issues this embarrassment causes me, and an idea or two to combat it.
First, the issues:
Embrassment makes me hesitant to share my ideas with others.
It makes me doubt myself, so I don’t put as much energy towards whatever it is I’m interested in.
Lol, and forget about putting it in front of other slightly important priorities. If I don’t fully believe in it, it’s on the backburner.
As time progresses and there’s a more substantial body of work you can show yourself, the embarrassment wears off a little. But in the infant stages of getting back to the gym or starting a new hobby/business? There’s a lot of doubt that has nothing opposing it besides your own personal belief. That belief wavers sometimes.
At least, it does for me.
I’m going to use BetterLife as an example because I still get embarrassed sharing it with others.
BetterLife’s a complex idea, the solution isn’t super straightforward, and the self-betterment market is soooooo watered down that I’m 1000% sure no one wants to hear any more from the space. Because of all that, I get in my head about sharing.
It annoys the hell out of me that I don’t have a clean elevator pitch for what BetterLife is, and it bums me out when my lack of clear and concise messaging isn’t met with absolute enthusiasm from others. All of that traces back to embarrassment.
I get embarrassed when it doesn’t instantly click for someone when I share because I take that as it will never work for anyone. #boymath
System 7 - Standing On It
Each time I fumble over the idea that BetterLife is the solution you need to go from “I should start that” to “this is something I do,” I get embarrassed (see? it’s clunky…).
The doubt starts creeping in.
Until recently, I wasn’t seeing a silver lining in fumbling through sharing either. But I think I do now.
The more you share, the less resistance future sharing will have.
I know. Oxymoron. But think about those three problems I highlighted earlier, and consider how much of a hindrance to progress being embarrassed really is. It goes beyond just being an ego thing.
Sharing with others is a golden opportunity to get help from others.
Whether that's insight, a connection, or even a customer, the surface area for good things to arrive skyrockets when you share your thing. I won’t even highlight the benefits it has energetically and spiritually :)(Reddit, of all places, said it best. See first comment.)
On the flip side, sharing your efforts with others opens the door to quelling embarrassment too. And, unfortunately, I’m not sure there’s another way to quell it. You just have to face the fear of judgement.
Here’s two ways to make sharing easier and face that fear we all have.
Hide behind a screen and share on social media.
Like what I do with BetterLife! hehe :)
Posting on Instagram allowed me to thoughtfully share.
For me, I felt I could always delete a post (or the account lol) so what’s the harm in sharing!
Giving myself that “abort” option kept the stakes low.
Ask for someone’s help/advice on the idea.
Asking instead of sharing puts the focus on what they have to say, rather than what you said.
Asking eases the topic into the conversation and provides an easily identifiable interest gauge.
It’s gentle too. The worst they say is, “Oh, I’ve got no idea.”
Bottom line, there’s ways to publicly share without completely putting yourself out on the ledge. And so here’s the deal:
For these next two weeks I challenge you to share your “interest” with three people that don’t yet know about it.
Use these tools if you have to. The whole point is to eliminate any resistance so you can become the person that consistently does that “something.” So maybe you share and they don’t get it at all. Maybe they don’t know why you’re trying to learn to cook more or learn how to fix your car on your own. Fine! But now you’ve said it aloud, and that’s the worst that could’ve happened. The surface area still increased and the potential embarrassment will be just a smidgen less daunting moving forward.
Embarrassment is okay to have. But no longer does it have to get in the way of what we want to do.
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