Being Consistent Is Exhausting

This shit’s tough man..

For whatever reason, anything— really, everything — going on in life is more enticing than doing the same routines day after day, month after month. Yes, there are those who have found their calling and enjoy every second of every day doing the same things, but I think a lot of us just aren’t there yet.

Kudos to you if you’ve found what excites you! Comment below if you have any suggestions on how to get there and/or make consistency easier!

Instead, most are desperately holding on to the light at the end of whatever tunnel our routines are supposed to pull us through. Passing a class, getting in shape, staying in shape, creating a business, a blog, even just being a good friend that’s present in others’ lives. Let’s be real, these things are tough to stick with day in and day out.

The idea of consistency is simple enough. Just show up, try a little bit, and come back to do it again tomorrow. On paper, what’s easier than that?

Off paper though, it’s anything but easy.. why is that?

I wish I had an answer and since I don’t, I understand if this post comes across as just a big complaint. If you stick with it though, hopefully you get the two points I want to make — this shit’s hard. But you’re not alone.

Everyone’s trying to be consistent in something, most of us are struggling to do so, and all of that is okay.

There was a post by Colby Kultgen that I reposted last night, and I thought it was helpful (you can check it out on his account here). It acknowledged how tough consistency is and that showing up just to do the minimum is okay — even preferable.

What I loved most is the post’s acknowledgement of someone’s minimum, and the importance of defining what that is. At least for me, realistically defining the minimum is where I get into trouble. I like to think I can do a lot more than I actually can, and when I fail to do so, I get discouraged.

By realistically defining our minimum, the big key from his post emerges:

Grace.

For ourselves.

When it comes to new routines like doing my homework for a class that just started, writing a Medium post, or even just flossing, I struggle being consistent because most days I don’t meet the expectation I’ve set in my head. I didn’t finish the two problems of homework in the hour I set aside; I didn’t floss last night because I was excited to watch a movie and I was tired; the list of reasons I failed my expectation is endless, daily, and it kills my consistency more often than not because it kills my motivation.

The act of highlighting our realistic minimum gives us the chance to be patient and thoughtful to ourselves. It allows us to step away from whatever parameters we’ve established as “consistent success” and redefine them in a way that still allows for progress, but with more TLC to ourselves.

I think the reason motivation dips is because we can’t meet the expectations we’ve set for ourselves.

And if motivation — that initial want to achieve whatever ‘s out there — creates the habit in the first place, then how are we supposed stick with the habits that help when motivation plummets? That all of these graphs show as the solution to low motivation? Habits and motivation are intertwined, no doubt, but most of us are struggling to stay out of the downward spiral of low motivation and unrealistic habits because we’ve set too high of expectations to begin.

I just took 3 months between posting on Medium because I couldn’t figure out what my minimums truly were. I’d write a little bit, but I wanted to grow Better Life beyond Medium, so I’d pile on more and more. I’d require myself to get A, B, and C done in a day instead of just half of A. Eventually, nothing got done and I’d be taking walks thinking if failing at something as simple as writing consistently meant I was destined for half-completed ideas the rest of my life (Exhibit A of that downward spiral).

So as I said earlier, this shit’s hard. Consistency is tough. Motivation is even tougher. But it doesn’t have to be impossible. Like Colby said, set your minimums. Like I’m saying, give yourself grace. And after that, just see where things go. At a minimum, you’ll be moving forward.

P.S.

It’s okay if you don’t hit your absolute minimum here and there :) give yourself grace and you’ll get farther than if you don’t.

I write a newsletter on living more deliberately that comes out every other Sunday.

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