Your Bare Minimum Is Enough

I’ve got a problem, and I think you might too.

I beat myself up too much.

Most nights I’m going to sleep wishing I’d have got this done, didn’t cancel on that friend, or ate a healthier dinner.

It sucks because I have these expectations I subconsciously create in my head and all I want is for everything to go perfectly. For me to knock it all out of the park. But when I don’t do exactly that, I beat myself up over it.

Of course, I could show more grace to myself. And I’m getting better! :) Yet that doesn’t really fix the root cause. I’d rather fix the issue. Lol.

The aspect of leaving something on the table that especially annoys me is when I don’t attend something. When I skip a workout because I was too tired or don’t catch up with some friends because I didn’t want to leave my house for that long. Usually, I trace those nagging thoughts at bedtime back to attendance.

Everyone knows it’s best to “show up” but why can’t we ever be consistent in doing so?

It really irks me because when I don’t attend something it either impacts someone else (not attending a commitment) or distances myself from achieving a goal of mine (getting absolutely shredded in the gym). The intentions behind creating those commitments are pretty positive for my life, and that makes it all the more sucky when I skip.

I think added irritation comes from the fact that we all are doing pretty good at life too. Got jobs, friends, healthy lives, significant others, maybe even hobbies (overachievers hahaa), the evidence is there that we can -in fact- be capable and consistent!

So why aren’t we being consistent? Why can’t I do it for the smaller sized goals that don’t result in me getting fired, ghosted or disowned if I fail? Why can’t I consistently eat right, show up for that fringe friend, and the gym consistently on my own?

Whatever your goal is, I’m sure there’s been days you haven’t shown up for it and you’ve been less than pleased.

That displeasure comes from knowing we’re fully capable.

It’s frustrating. Consistency is frustrating. I’m not asking for every day to be perfect, but I definitely wish the good days of attendance would string together for longer sequences than they do.

What’s helped me string together a few more consecutively good days before I skip another workout is a little trick I learned through some random Instagram reel a while back. Wish I could give them credit here but I’m not scrolling through my likes to find that. I guess you have to give me the credit when you share this with others :)

It’s helped me, and will help you too.

System 2.1 — The Bare Minimum

The system is basic. Comical, really. Consistency comes from showing up. Plain and simple. The more you show up in whatever you’re trying to be consistent with, the more consistent you’ll be.

It’s less about giving the perfect effort every time and more about giving an effort every time.

So how can we ensure we’re giving an effort every time? That we’re actually showing up?

By defining the bare minimum for whatever activity I’m doing.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

A lot of us have this goal of being healthy. One of the biggest ways we try to maintain our health is by attending the gym. Free weights, classes, whatever it is, a lot of us spend a few hours every week doing something like this. We attend the class, we attend the gym, etc.

On the flip side, it gets really tough to do this consistently while also balancing a job, sleeping enough, eating right, and maintaining anything resembling a social life. It’s a lot. Personally, I get tired easily and the first thing I replace for more rest is my gym time.

What’s helped me avoid cutting out the gym is defining the absolute bare minimum effort I would consider acceptable for a gym session on that given day.

Instead of thinking about how I need to get an entire 1 hour-long HIIT workout in after a long Tuesday at the office, I’ll determine what I would deem acceptable for that day’s commitment to the gym.

Is it one circuit of the workout? Is it just stretching? Am I feeling good and know I can get the entire thing done? Maybe it’s not even attending that day (that happens, it’s okay!!). What’s important is I’m defining what I would be okay with when I look back on my day later that night.

The goal is to show up. That’s how consistency is built. It’s not about going 110% every single time. That’s volatile and you burn out easily that way. At least, I do.

Now, let me be clear, just because I defined the acceptable workout effort for my Tuesday as just stretching doesn’t mean I can’t go harder once I’m in there and the juices are flowing. Get after it, if that’s the case (honestly, this exercise is really aimed to trick you into doing most of it once you’ve started)!

But also, give yourself grace if you truly just get the stretch in and go home. There’s nothing wrong with that. You deemed that acceptable and SHOWED UP.

That’s the important part — you showed up.

The goal is to build a deliberate life. By showing up and doing your bare minimum (or more), you’re dictating the terms. You’re providing the input you actually want to provide instead of giving it all or nothing.

In the case of the gym, imagine being in control and not reactively skipping three days in a row because getting through an entire workout seems impossible.

Try it out. Define your bare minimums for one thing this week.

Let’s see what happens.

I write a newsletter on living more deliberately that comes out every other Sunday. This was the second issue I ever published.

Subscribe for free at abetterlifeco.com.